fly guy and roach girl.

Instead of buying toys for my dog, I lure flies into the house with flashlights, rave-style. If the weather’s nice, like today, I just leave the front door open and let flies come and go as they please. I’m an awfully nice host. Brody, however, is not.

Currently, Brody is trying to catch a very unlucky fly. He’s hip-hopping around like a spastic deer. Or a rodeo pony, bucking like mad. He’s chomping the air, but the fly escapes. Chomp, chomp. He’s got it! Wait, now he’s spitting it out. And now he’s trying to lick it up. To spit it back out again. To dance around it. To lick it up. Spit. Dance. Go, Brody, go!

I should probably stop this, but… It’s. Just. So. Amusing. This charming scene (is it not charming?) reminds me of my mother’s favorite story: “Pretty Princess and the Roach.”

One sunny afternoon, two-year-old Pretty Princess was playing in the front yard. Mom was sitting on the porch, reading. When Mom looked up, she saw Pretty Princess smelling the flowers. “Aww, she’s so adorable,” Mom thought. Then Pretty Princess raised her little hand up to her mouth. “Baby, what is that? What’s in your hand?” Mom went to check. “AHHHHHH! Spit that out! Oh my gosh ohmygoshOHMYGOSH! Why are you eating a ROACH?! Spit it out! AHHH!” Mom screamed as she ran back and forth. To Pretty Princess. To the porch. Pretty Princess. Porch. Finally, Mom got a grip and snatched the roach out of her daughter’s mouth. Pretty Princess laughed and laughed.

Yeah. That’s not a cute story, especially as “Pretty Princess” was me. I’ve since developed a serious roach-aversion, like a normal, non-bug-eating individual. Brody, on the other hand...well, he’s just going through his two-year-old “bug phase.”